What does a doula do?

We tell our clients in our prenatal meetings that we provide comfort measures during labor. We assure their partners that we will be there with the birthing person if they need to take a break. We put in our contracts that we are unable to provide medical advice.

But when I showed up to my first birth as a doula, I began to understand on a much deeper level what a doula does.

A doula shows up. We are a trusted someone who has been there before the big event, someone who knows the birthing person’s history and wishes. A doula is there to be witness to the struggle, the vulnerability, the new life entering this world. A doula documents with words and photos the moments that are passing, maybe too quickly or too slowly. We sit - we talk - we hold the space and welcome the other caregivers who are in and out of the room. We ask questions and listen, and offer observations. A doula is sensitive to the needs of those around her - a coffee, a foot rub, a moment to digest new information. A doula never pushes, never judges, and never shames.

When my youngest daughter was born, my doula joined me in the ER. She stroked my head, she sat with me in my sadness that I was facing another unwanted cesarean. And from where she was sitting, amongst my grief and the doctors and the clinical background, she was able to see - the first time I smiled that day, the moment I realized I had a baby girl. This photo my doula took is so special to me - not because it sums up my experience, but because it captured a moment I might’ve forgotten. All we have are moments; I’m so grateful to have had this one witnessed and captured by my doula.